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The Perfect Quarterback…
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions,
The only thing missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all
the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't
find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl victory. Then one
night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene and in one corner of
the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly
incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a window
from 80 yards away. Then he threw another from 50 yards down a
chimney, and then hit a passing car going 80 miles per hour. I've
got to get this guy!" coach said to himself. "He has the perfect
arm!"
So, he brings the young Afghan to the States and teaches him the great
game of football ....... and sure enough the Lions go on to win the
Super Bowl. The young Afghan is hailed as a hero of football, and
when the Coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is
call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the
Super Bowl!" "I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says.
"You deserted us. "Mother, I don't think you understand," pleads
the son, "I've just won the greatest sporting event in the world!"
"No! Let me tell you," his mother retorts. "at this very moment there
are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble.
Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week,
and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get
assaulted!" The old lady pauses, then tearfully says, "I will
never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
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Ashton Kutcher
is 32 today
February 7, 1978
American actor, television actor
Kelso in "That '70s Show"
"Punk'd", Dude Where's My Car?, Just Married
The Butterfly Effect, The Guardian, What
Happens in Vegas
Demi Moore Boy Toy
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