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DOGGY DICTIONARY...
BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented
for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you
must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for
a few yards: the person swerves and falls into the bushes, and you
prance away.
BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
DEAFNESS: This is the malady that affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as a white bedspread in the guestroom or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.
GARBAGE CAN: A container that your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread. |
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How to Propel the Paper Wrapper from a Drinking Straw...
1. Using a new wrapped drinking straw, tear off one end of the protective paper sleeve exposing the end of the plastic straw.
2. On the other end of the paper sleeve, twist the end to a point. You may need to pull the paper sleeve a little to create enough slack to create a well-shaped point for your missile.
3. Holding the straw only by the plastic itself, not the paper, aim the pointed end of the paper sleeve at an unsuspecting person and blow into the open end of the straw.
4.
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Jeff Daniels is 55 today February 19, 1955
American actor, musician and playwright Founder of the Purple Rose Theatre Company in Michigan Ragtime, State of Play, The Purple Rose of Cairo The Squid and the Whale, Dumb and Dumber, "Pleasantville", Speed, Terms of Endearment, My Favorite Martian, Gettysburg, Arachnophobia |
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"I live in a house that is on the median strip of the highway. The only thing I don't like about it is I have to leave my driveway doing 60 mph." |
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Friends of Dawg
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Friday, February 19th, 2010 is Straw Wrapper Appreciation Day 
